Forever

I lost one of my beloved aunt today (28.10.09). Forever, she will be in my heart.

Ragil Mega & Almh. Hj. Henriette Tjasmo, December 2007

Tadi malam aku sakit. Jadi aku tidur cepat. Tapi, malah tidur ayam. Jam 1 aku bangun.. lapar karena nggak makan malam. Makan selembar roti.. sambil twitteran dan bbm-an sama kakak. Malam itu diakhiri dengan segelas wedang jahe pukul 4 pagi dan aku kembali tidur.

Entah pukul berapa Zeeshan bangunin aku sehabis mandi. Dia bilang, “Ragil, your sister is looking for you, I think she wants to tell you something important”. Dengan kaget dan percaya kalau something bad has happened, aku bangun dengan bb beberapa senti di depan muka. Sedetik kemudian, aku nangis meraung-raung di tempat tidur.. Zeeshan di sebelah berkali-kali tanya, “what’s wrong”, but I completely ignored him. Lima menit kemudian, baru aku bilang, “My aunt passed away”.

Masih sambil berurai air mata, aku cek my own bb. Ada banyak bbm yang masuk.. dari kakak dan sepupuku juga saudara2 yang di group bbm, dan satu telfon masuk unknown number. Setelah selese baca semua pesan, aku bilang ke suami “I’ve gotta call my parents” sembari balas bbm, “Aku baru bangun. Mau telfon Mom”. Kata kakak, “Mom lagi sibuk kayaknya.” Aku tanya lagi, “Pap?” Kata Tante Ani, “Papamu lg sibuk sms. Aku baru dapet sms papamu.” Akhirnya aku memutuskan telefon Papie. Zeeshan langsung bergerak nyalain komputer karena aku telefon pakai Skype.

Aku telefon Papie, masih sambil nangis. Pap bilang, “doakan ya.. bacain Al-Fatihah. Pap masih di jalan mau ketemu orang. Mom ada di RS Tebet”. Setelah itu aku telefon Mom. Suara Mom tegar walau aku tahu beliau habis nangis, “Ragil maafin Bude Eti ya.. Doakan ya, bacain Yaasin.. Kita baru sampai rumah. Tadi meninggalnya jam 7:15 (atau 50 aku kurang jelas-R). Kemaren Eyang pengen nengokin tapi kan nggak bisa. Trus kata Bude juga nggak usah Bude udah mau pulang. Kemaren sempat pulang sebentar, tapi terus aanval lagi dan masuk ICU lagi. Ini sekarang kita lagi di kamar Eyang, Eyang baru dikasih tau pelan-pelan. Eyang baik-baik aja. Kamu doain ya”.

Zeeshan berangkat kerja. Aku linglung. Jalan ke sana kemari, padahal udah jelas punya tujuan mau sholat. Aku ambil buku doa-doa, ambil air wudhu lalu sholat Dhuha dan sholat Jenazah. Abis itu aku duduk di atas sajadah. Bengong. Tapi terus aku mulai chatting lagi sama kakak. Yang diomongin: FIRASAT.

Waktu dapat kabar Bude masuk ICU, aku deg-degan. Agak hopeless.. kayaknya tau beliau mau pergi. Tapi aku nggak boleh ngeduluin yang di Atas. So I ignored that feeling. Satu hari, antingku jatuh sebelah.. aku bingung.. gumam sendiri, “aduh mau ada apa ya? semoga nggak ada apa-apa ya”. I ignored that feeling. Satu malam, aku mimpi buruk.. aku mimpi salah satu kakiku beraaaat rasanya. Sampe mau nyebrang jalan aja susah, mesti nyeret satu kaki itu. Sampe malu ditungguin mobil-mobil. Bangun tidur aku mikir, “koq mimpi gitu ya? Mau ada apa ya?” But I ignored that feeling. Setelah beliau pergi baru jelas firasatku, kaki Bude bermasalah sehingga beliau selalu sholat sambil duduk.

Hari ini seharian aku duduk di depan komputer. Kirim e-mail pemberitahuan ke keluarga suami.. tulis-tulis di facebook.. cari-cari foto aku dengan Almarhumah yang terus aku pajang di facebook. Semua dilakukan dengan unstoppable tears, ditemani lagu Andai Ku Tahu – Ungu, alunan piano dari kartu yang dikirimkan mertuaku, dan Watermark – Enya. Aku nggak kebayang nanti kalau ke Jakarta lagi.. ke rumah Eyang, nggak ada Bude Eti..

Bulan lalu aku ke Jakarta untuk ngerayain Idul Fitri. Sempat agak susah pulang karena gusi ada yang bengkak. Tapi akhirnya aku berangkat juga. Karena aku nggak mau menyesal di kemudian hari kalau ada yang ‘pergi’. And I’m glad I went home.. Aku ada di sana saat Bude Eti merayakan Idul Fitri untuk terakhir kalinya.

Aku masih nggak bisa percaya. Mungkin karena aku jauh.. Zeeshan pun sempat geleng-geleng, dia bilang “I can’t believe it though, she looks so young”.

Terakhir aku bertemu beliau, awal bulan ini.. dua hari sebelum aku berangkat kembali ke Edmonton.. 2 Oktober, Batik Day. Mungkin hari itu arwah Bude sebenarnya udah pergi. Tapi ahhh.. siapa sangka. Hari itu, Bude memuji-muji batik aku. Beliau juga bilang aku tambah cantik Sehari sebelum aku berangkat, aku berencana ke rumah Eyang lagi. Tapi gagal karena masih ada urusan. Jadi aku cuma bicara di telfon.. sama Eyang.. dan Bude Eti. Aku minta maaf karena nggak jadi ke sana. Kata Bude, “Nggak apa-apa. Kamu kan sibuk. Salam buat Zeeshan yaaa..”

Iya Bude, salam Bude aku sampaikan. Selamat Jalan, Bude.. Sampaikan salamku untuk Eyang Kakung dan Oom Badi. Aku sayang Bude.. dan doaku akan selalu menyertai Bude. Selamanya..

Busy

Many things happened this week. Well can’t exactly put it that way, I just did more things than being a couch potato and being bored. Let’s start with the recent one:

Shopping!!

LOL, not really. This part is supposed to be called a day with Hana Hana had been having exams this week. So Friday I went to her dorm to cheer her up. Haha, just kidding, we just hung out in her room and talked for hours until we got hungry. We went to the mall in the evening and visited our three favorite stores. First is Forever21

I got myself a pair of snakeskin leggings, a red tank top that I’m gonna wear under my red transparent and top and a pair of hair pins. Hana got herself a headband embellished with a little hat and feathers. CUTE!

Then H&M (didn’t find anything, didn’t take any pictures) and T&T, which is an Asian grocery store where we bought lots of delish Asian food. Yummm!!

Few days earlier.. I decorated my apartment windows with some Halloween gel stickers. I totally wish I lived in a house that I would get some kids knocking on my door

Jetlag

I find myself funny for the habits in my life. It’s 3:55 am here as I start to blog. I consider myself having a jetlag. The thing is.. it’s the first day I woke up too early. I’ve been back since Monday and it’s already Thursday. Few days apart for the jetlag to kick in.

I was in Jakarta last week (Sept. 15 – Oct. 5), to spend Eid with my grandma. Fun time, met family and few friends although I wish I could meet more friends. Decided I couldn’t stay long the day I bought my tickets (which happened just a day before I flew back, lol). Here’s the reasons why:

- I would miss my husband.. lol

- Jakarta’s street is stressful all year round, except for the Eid week. So yes I was at the best time in Jakarta. Traffic was almost non-existent.

Back in Canada on Monday. Loooooooong flight. This is why I get so reluctant whenever I’m about to travel to my hometown. Spent hours on the plane with a screaming baby just an aisle away (what a nightmare?!). Reading “Perahu Kertas” by Dee Lestari, all the way from Jakarta – Hong Kong – Vancouver – here Couldn’t sleep.. thanks, Screaming Kid!

I unpacked in one day – and I’m proud of it.. lol. My house is still a mess though, few stuff lying around. But nothing time can’t heal

Bleak

Paramore, No Doubt.. Last night was great. But for now, I’m not gonna go much into it.

It’s a sad day.. as most of you who watch CNN probably have heard all over the news. Three bombs exploded, two of which are results of terrorist attack, back in my home country. Again, targeting the innocents, foreigners and hard-working people. Two hotels in the upscale of Jakarta: Ritz-Carlton and J.W. Marriott.

I’ve been snooping around the internet, facebook-ing and twitter-ing to get the latest news.

I am indirectly affected by what happened. One of my good friends, my former roommate when I was still in college, Nicoline Patricia Malina had an exhibition at the Airlangga Restaurant, the exact point where the bomber was standing. I thought about her but was glad to find her tweeting. She informed me that she retrieved all the prints two days before the bombing happened. Thank God! It must’ve been painful for her to see what has become of her former exhibition site.

Last night I went home from all the crazy concert only to find this. I thought about my parents but was relieved when my sister said they were okay. I was hungry for more news but somehow I got too tired. I went to bed.

This morning my Mom texted me, she asked if I heard about the news. The next few words left me weak and my eyes water. The morning the bomb went off, my Dad was scheduled to have a breakfast meeting at the Ritz-Carlton hotel. Somehow, it got canceled as he got a more important meeting to attend to.

The moment I heard the news, I thought of my Dad, he frequently has breakfast meetings at both hotels. Several times I went with him. I even had honeymoon in one of the hotels.

My thoughts and prayers go to my country, all the victims and families. Indonesia Unite!!

Congratulations

to Meaghan DeWarreng-Waller for being the third Canada’s Next Top Model. I look forward to seeing your picture everywhere across the country anytime soon. I was rooting for you. Yayy!!

to Joey McIntyre who has been making the news with wife, expecting a second son, a brother for Griffin. And wrote on twitter “The Macs took all that aphrodisiac of the road and made a baby out there. All that screaming turned us on! Thanks for all the well wishes”

Check out the vlog with Griffin

Sunny Edmonton

Less than one hour ago I was very pissed and disappointed at American Idol. They saved Matt Giraud from elimination. I thought he didn’t deserve it, but he got it anyway. And next week, 2 people are going home..

I had a long day. Left home 11:30 am to hang out with my friend Tina and her little boy, Vuk. We went to Wal-Mart and I got myself a copy of:

Twilight: Director’s Notebook

But I made myself a rule not to read it until I pass my driver’s license theory test.

Then we went to IKEA and then checked out the new outlet stores closeby. There’s Banana Republic, Calvin Klein Jeans, Adidas Outlet, Townshoes, Denier, GAP, Roots 73 and the opening soon H&M. I am sooo happy I don’t need to go a long way for GAP and H&M, although these stores are probably not that complete.

But the one store that caught my heart was

It was really really a town full of shoes. And their clearance racks carry shoes from Betsey Johnson, BCBGirls, Nine West, Steve Madden, J.Lo, and a lot more, including Canada’s own David Dixon. Very limited models of course, but the prices were just like normal prices you would have to pay for non-designer shoes. My husband told me about this new store last month. For some reasons, I just didn’t care.

Now I am eye-ing a pair of shoes from Betseyville by Betsey Johnson (don’t think my husband will like it) and another pair of lace pumps from Town (I think).

Back in Deadmonton

Alhamdulillah..

I have arrived safely and sound in Edmonton.
Long flight (plus a crazy allergy on the plane that didn’t allow me to sleep)
but it was great.
I sat right next to my mom with my dad on the other side of the aisle.
Thank God for long weekends.

Long flight = movies marathon.
Twilight – The Secret Life of Bees – Slumdog Millionaire..
The winner was Slumdog Millionaire,
although I played Twilight more as I heart Kristen Stewart
and the Cullen family so much (love that baseball scene).

I just finished cleaning up..
luckily there wasn’t much trouble as my lovely husband
has been doing a good job of keeping the house at mint condition
My parents are sleeping. The jetlag has kicked in.
And I need nasal irrigation a lot more than anything.
The allergy was grand that five times nasal irrigation did only a little help.
As for Zeeshan, he lost a lot of weight.
Very thin compared to when I last saw him 3 months ago.

Tight schedule for me up until Monday.
Then I can sleep all week.

HAPPY EASTER

to those who celebrate.

Gotta unpack. More stories to come.
TTFN!!

Going Back Soon..

Aloha!! I’ve got lots of things I wanna say, so let’s just get on with it instead of blabbing shall we?

I got my passport back on Wednesday (after I sent it to Canadian High Commission in Singapore and didn’t hear from them for 3 weeks.. and I just started to go crazy). Not having my passport in my hands drove me nuts!!

Now that I have my ‘identity’ back, I am contemplating. Lots of things on my mind like meeting Ron to see if there’s any opportunity for my workaholic husband (actually it’s not that bad, lol), my grandma’s birthday, and then my dad’s work (if all things go right he should do some work in Calgary which means we can travel together), and last but not least, when my husband is going to be ‘home’ so he can pick me up. Simple things but come to think of it, they’re complicated.

I should be back in Canada before the end of April though. And then I don’t know when I will be back because this time when I’m back I really should start doing what a 24 year old should do in real life.

Bad Mood

I need want new shoes. A pair that are useful in the winter but pretty enough to make people look at my feet A nice pair but won’t get me fall butt-ahead in the snow when walking towards my car. A nice pair that don’t get my socks and feet wet walking in the snow. And definitely not too tall for me to last the whole day.

I so need something to brighten up my freakin’ bad mood this week.. =(

Winter Mood

Happy Eid to those who celebrate =D

I am so lacking of creativity today. I’m having a problem today, my body just won’t co-operate and I have a stomachache. I am in need of a good ol’ red wine but I gave mine away to Tina & her husband when me & my husband went there for a football night.

It’s been snowing since morning so everything is snow-capped white, so pretty. I am feeling the pretty winter today. I changed the layout of my other blog to winter theme. I created a winter song playlist, listened to them while enjoying my cups of hot coffee and tea.

It’s -13 out there and I think we’re getting 5 cm of snow. I hope it stays like this for awhile, ’cause it’s just so pretty..